Surviving Two Under Two

It’s chaos. Sometimes controlled chaos. Sometimes not.

Bringing home a second baby while your first is still in nappies is no small feat. The days are long, the house is loud, and you’re often doing everything one-handed. Whether you’re preparing for the arrival of baby number two or deep in the trenches of toddler tantrums and cluster feeds, this blog brings together real-life advice from mums who’ve lived it.

These are the unfiltered, practical tips that helped other parents survive the whirlwind of two under two. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but knowing what worked for someone else might help you find your rhythm, one messy day at a time.

Lower the Bar (Yes, Really)

“The house was basically always a disaster. The toddler had a lot of screen time and we ate a lot of freezer food. Not gonna lie, it was rough the first few months.”

Many parents found peace by letting go of perfection. Your home doesn’t have to be spotless. Meals don’t have to be from scratch. It’s okay if your toddler watches more TV than usual while you’re breastfeeding or settling the baby.

“I also have bins for the toys so it’s easier to keep extra toys off the floor.” A simple system for storage can go a long way when you’re tripping over trucks and dolls all day.

Create Anchors in the Day

One mum shared her go-to routine that helped her get through the days:

• Nurse baby on the couch while reading stories to the toddler. Keep two glasses of water nearby.

• Use the TV strategically while settling the baby for a nap. If it goes quickly, grab a shower. If it doesn’t, well, one more episode won’t hurt.

• Once baby is down, do something special with your toddler - playdough, baking, a backyard bug hunt. No phone during this time, and bring the baby monitor so you’re not distracted by worry.

• Have lunch nearly ready before baby wakes up.

• After lunch, toddler goes down for a nap or quiet time - independent play in their room with books, blocks, or puzzles for at least 90 minutes.

• “I found alternating snacks helped by putting one in the high chair to eat, allowing one-on-one time with the other.” Even small windows of connection matter.

Feed Them Simply, Feed Them Often

You don’t need Pinterest-perfect snacks to keep your toddler fuelled. Cheese slices, crackers, fruit cups, yoghurt pouches - if it’s easy to grab and they can eat it themselves, it’s perfect.

“We have a snack bin my toddler can access any time with foods I’m happy for her to eat independently.” You might also try a small water jug and cup she can manage herself for added independence.

“Hair salon was our go-to game while I breastfed. I lay on the recliner with my hair over the back and my toddler went to town with brushes. Win-win.”

Tag Team, If You Can

If you have a partner, divide and conquer when possible. One parent might take on toddler bath and bedtime while the other settles the baby.

“She got lots of Daddy time during that first year. He did the bath and bedtime every night. Their bond is amazing now because of it.”

Other parents relied on grandparents, paid help, or even a fortnightly cleaner to keep things semi-manageable.

“We had a cleaner come every second week. Worth every cent. The mess still existed, but at least we got a reset.”

Think “Safe Spaces” and Triage

Sometimes, both kids need you at the same time. That’s when having safe places becomes essential.

“We have a playpen (we call it baby jail) with no choking hazards, so if I had to put one down for a nap upstairs, I knew the other was safe.”

“I learned to triage: someone hurt gets help first, then hungry, then the one who just wants attention.”

Loop earplugs can help if the volume gets overwhelming.

And yes, sometimes one of them will have to cry while you attend to the other. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human.

Align Nap and Rest Time

If you can get both kids resting at the same time - even briefly - it’s gold. That might mean syncing naps, using the pram, or babywearing on the go.

“We’d walk every morning, get home for lunch, then the toddler napped. Even if the TV was on and the place was a mess, we survived until my husband got home.”

“I would babywear my newborn. She’d happily sleep in there all day aside from feeding, which meant I had two hands free to play with the toddler. Honestly, it was a saviour in the early weeks!”

“Once you have the energy, a daily walk is a great way to meet the needs of everyone. Everyone gets fresh air, baby gets a nap, toddler gets exercise, and mum gets some time without kids on top of her.”

Prioritise Toddler Emotions Too

It’s easy to assume the baby’s needs are more urgent, but toddlers are going through a huge transition too.

“If my toddler was melting down and the baby was hungry, I let the baby fuss a few minutes. Toddlers remember when you show up for their big feelings.”

Choosing to respond to your toddler’s emotional needs first sometimes isn’t neglect, it’s acknowledging who is most likely to remember it.

Final Words from Mums Who’ve Been There

• Accept help. Ask for help.

• TV is a tool, not a failure.

• Use high chairs and snacks for strategic parenting.

• Keep meals simple.

• Outdoor time resets everyone.

• Babywearing is a lifesaver.

• Storage bins save your floor—and your sanity.

• Crying happens. You’re not doing anything wrong.

"It’s a season. The days feel long, but the weeks go fast. Every few months, they’re different kids again.”

You’ve got this.